Scary repost: Neighbor kids, ergot, and zombies.

Oct 29 2010 Published by under Passing thoughts, Personal

A conversation that happened just over two years ago as my better half was clearing plates from the kitchen table and I was cooking something.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Hey, I thought our kids like zucchini bread.

Dr. Free-Ride: They do. That piece was [the kid across the street's] -- always gladly accepts a snack, never has more than a few bites.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Huh.

Dr. Free-Ride: I think that's why when our kids are over there, there are so many snacks. If you have a kid who only eats a little at a time, you have to feed continuously.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Why don't our kids eat like birds?

Dr. Free-Ride: I'm going to guess that genetics have something to do with it. But their metabolic reserves will carry them through when zombies have disrupted Trader Joe's supply chain.


Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Yeah, with zombies the selection pressures change. Eat or be eaten.

Dr. Free-Ride: I'll share my soybeans with you when the time comes.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Mmmmmm.

Dr. Free-Ride: I have a feeling you're going to want to research food safety measures so you can eat zombies safely. We'll get a second Weber grill for you, so you won't zombie-up my veggie grill.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: GRAAAAAAAINS!

Dr. Free-Ride: Har!

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: We could replant the lawn with wheat.

Dr. Free-Ride: Or rye. Although then we'd have to worry about ergot.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: I'd just as soon pass on that. I bet it was pretty terrifying to have whole villages go crazy with the ergot. I can't remember, was that "St. Cuthbert's dance"? [Actually, St. Vitus' Dance.]

Dr. Free-Ride: What do you want to bet that it looks a lot like that dance Beavis and Butt-head would do in front of their TV?

We took a few moments to dance like Beavis and Butt-head in the kitchen

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Hey, this week at school is Red Ribbon Week.

Dr. Free-Ride: As usual, just in time for Hallowe'en. I hope this year they look at the caffeine content in chocolate bars.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: I'm guessing not.

Dr. Free-Ride: Sugar as a mind-altering chemical?

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Mmmmmm, no.

Dr. Free-Ride: Hey, this week is also National Chemistry Week.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: No way!

Dr. Free-Ride: I wonder if the Red Ribbon Week people knew that was going to happen.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Maybe they'll talk about zombie cucumber -- not a big recreational drug, but dangerous.

Dr. Free-Ride: What really worries me is that we're talking about ergot outbreaks and zombie cucumber less than a month before a general election.

Dr. Free-Ride's better half: Now that's spooky!

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